 |
| Njoki Chege |
By CITY GIRL NJOKI CHEGE
I wanted to write a polite feature
story about the current betting craze
in the country. One of the editors
disagreed.
So I have decided to take a gamble
with my column. Remember me in
your prayers tonight dear readers.
Pray that I will still have a job by
Monday.
Now, onto the day’s business. Do you
bet on sports? If your answer is
“yes”, then let me be the first to tell
you this; you are a pathetic little
boy. A child. A small boy still
clutching at your mother’s skirt, too
timid to let go or even to go out and
make your own money like real men
do.
If you are a 30-year-old man and
all you have to show for it is a
betting account and screenshots of
‘winning’ messages from the betting
companies, you are a weak-minded
mama’s boy.
You still have your mama’s milk on
your lip; I can smell it from here.
Betting is for losers.
Betting is for broke and lazy fools
swimming in debt. Idiots who think the
roadmap to riches is a shortcut that
comes in the name of “betting”.
Investopedia.com suggests that
betting is a zero-sum game where
one person’s gain is another’s loss.
I’ll chew that for you, you
dunderheads with those silly
accounts. It means money gets out of
your pocket straight into the betting
service owner’s bank account.
There is no jackpot you bunch of idle
peasants; the only jackpot is in the
pockets of the betting service owner.
BRAIN DEAD
These boys who place bets are not
only financially poor, but also
intellectually bankrupt. They are
brain dead ditzy morons. They don’t
see betting for the pyramid scheme
it is.
They don’t see how the owners of
these platforms are feeding off
their greed for quick cash.
Betting is a get-rich-quick scheme
that never was and never will be.
The proprietors make more money in
a day than the Sh23 million they
offer you as ‘jackpots”.
Wake up you, you horde of
underachievers.
Betting does not provide sports fans
with alternative income generating
methods. That is such tedious PR
drivel.
There are only two parties
generating income here; the owners
and the beneficiaries of the
advertising. The rest of you and your
Sh20,000 bets are just details.
You will remain poor for the rest of
your life; placing bets on losing teams
from your servants’ quarter in South
B or one-bedroom apartment in
Ruaka
LOSERS
Some of you are so pathetic; you
can’t even pick a winning team to bet
your money on. You are not only a
loser, but you also support and bet on
a losing team. How tragic can your
life be?
Stop bothering us on Twitter with
screenshots of your paltry gains of
Sh35,000. A man who is turned on by
Sh 35,000 is not meant for
greatness.
Your peers are out there winning
tenders and closing deals worth
millions. Your age mates are opening
bank accounts to stash their cash as
you nurse your account from the
discomfort of the backseat of a
Rongai matatu.
Keep your Sh30,000 peanuts to
yourself. Send those screenshots to
your mother. We don’t care how
much you won.
Don’t litter our Twitter and Facebook
timelines with confirmations of your
idiocy.
There is not a single sane woman in
this town that would date or even
marry a man who bets. A woman who
dates such a man is a tragedy by
herself.
I am cock-sure she must be one of
those shisha-smoking Instagram
types that are impressed with a six-
pack of Guaranas.
The rest of us successful and
upwardly mobile women would rather
swallow our stilettos than be seen with
a man who bets
Comments
Post a Comment