Skip to main content

‪#‎WhileInMombasa


Dear Nairobians

On behalf of residents,Welcome to Mombasa
While you are here note these;

1. You have Kidero grass we have Joho flowers …ours were planted well before Obama and Pope- for us to see. DO NOT EVEN THINK OF FLYING OVER!

2. We too know how to drive on pavements,but we opt not to coz we’re living in an island which you can circle 14 times a day….so no hurry.

3.Ugali is called Sima. Rice is wali NOT mchele! Any food take away is called safari e.g Chips Safari- Don’t keep our waiters guessing what you want.

4. Sauti Sol will be performing here on 26th. DO NOT come to crowd and buy all tickets.You are with them in Nairobi for 364 days!

5. Take care of your stuff,you didn’t come alone,your pickpockets are here on holiday too!

6. A beach Party is just that- a party in the wind dusty dirty beaches thanks to your habits of littering everywhere. In any party the cash you pay is directly proportional to the number of good people attending. If you pay 100 bob,you get to meet 100 good people and 4900 thugs. If you pay 5000 Bob you meet 5000 good guys n 0 thugs.



7. Here we see cars yes even before you do. Everyone here has seen a Bentley ( they pass through town as they leave the port) ..DONT ATTEMPT TO VRUUUM AROUND TOWN with your KCA Subaru playing loud music. KCG is the in thing here

Lastly,next time go to Eldoret,Narok,Kerugoya etc…must you come to force your tummy into a tyre tube and go floating at Pirates? By the way you easily float coz of the amount of urine people unleash while swimming there. Yes!

Via Junior Carry Ur Key


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

11 Habits You Need to Stop Doing

Stop watching too much TV If you spend too much time watching TV, you are wasting your life away. I feel really strongly about this one. I don’t have cable, and while I do watch some shows on Netflix, it’s few and far between. I only watch TV after I really am relaxed and need a break. I’m also careful not to turn on the TV right when I get home. I find that if I do this, I’m sucked in. This is why I keep my reading list and focus on reading good books instead. So, start to pay attention to how much TV you’re watching. If you think it’s too much, cut back. Limit your TV intake to 30 minutes to 1 hour per day, if possible. Stop talking about people behind their backs Talking about someone behind her back is a bad idea for a number of reasons. First, if someone is talking to you behind someone else’s back, you can bet on it that they also will talk about you. Second, did you know that when you talk about someone negatively, the person who you’re talking to will associate yo...
2 comments
Read more

How to Stop Porn Addiction

Don't be judgmental. The first thing you should do when trying to help other people stay away from porn is to stop being judgmental. Do not see or portray the situation in a way that makes them bad for what they do. Sexuality is very normal and human. Even most religions teach that it is not anyone’s place to judge their fellow man (but is instead the job of the Creator). It’s also bad to judge people because it tends to turn them off from what you’re trying to do. Many people that might be open to change will become defensive if you judge them and become even more set in their ways. Stay calm when you talk to them and avoid any judgmental language like “Why can’t you be more like Davis ?” or “Watching pornography will turn you into a pedophile!”. Don’t make assumptions about how they think or compare them to other people, since language like this tends to shut people down. Look for spiritual guidance. If you’re really having trouble getting your habit under control, you ...
3 comments
Read more

How technology will soon be taking care of your healthcare

The New Year tends to come with some changes - new socio-cultural interactions, new ways of doing business or new adjustments in our lifestyles. Some changes tend to fall on the wayside as the year advances. But other changes tend to be more long-term, serving to redefine several aspects of our lives. You can be certain that there will be changes in healthcare delivery this year. As with other service-oriented industries, technology will be a key driver of healthcare delivery. The interplay between technology and health is already quite advanced, but will get even more accelerated as the year progresses. You will already be familiar with a multitude of tech gadgets that can monitor various aspects of your health, and even offer suggestions on specific health actions. Such gadgets will get more refined, eventually becoming indispensable in individual health monitoring. You should expect to see more interactions with machines rather than humans in healthcare facilities. You wi...
1 comment
Read more